Friday, October 31, 2008

All Things Spooky on this All Hallow's Eve!

The Feast of the Dead, Samhain, All Hallows Eve, Day of the Dead, All Hallowtide, Festival of the Dead, Hop-tu-Naa, Nos Galan Gaeaf


Whatever you call it, I hope you all have a ghouly, ghosty, creepy, freaky, spooky and kooky night! Stay safe and have a wonderful time!

A few pet precautions for this festive night to keep your furry family safe and happy:
1) Door bells, wee ghouls of all sorts, yelling and costumes can be pretty scary for some dogs. If your pooch is nervous about strangers, maybe it would be best to keep them safely confined to a back room or their crate. Fill up a nice Kong or pull out a chew treat to keep them occupied and happy and away from open doors.
2) Remember, chocolate is toxic to our furry friends! Keep bowls of candy and chocolate well out of reach.
3) There are a lot of creeps out there, and Halloween seems to bring out a rash of pet "disappearances". Keep your beloved pets safely inside the house, don't leave them unattended in the yard.
4) Pet costumes are a lot of fun! But always be sure to supervise your pets when they are wearing their spooky outfits. Ensure that they cannot get tangled or caught up in the clothing, and remove the costumes when leaving your pet unattended.
5) Tomorrow morning, be sure to do a quick walk around of the yard before allowing the pets outside for their business. Bits of costumes, candy, garbage, or worse is often tossed over fences during the night's activities. Make sure your yard is clear of dangers.

In the spirit of all things spooky, today's post edges towards the creepy and kooky!
Included below are three bone shaking, terror-full tales. All true ... all occurring this Halloween day ... coincidence? WoooOOOoooOOO!

Spooky tale #1: Attack of the Zombie Chickens!

There once was a grad student who worked at an agricultural university full of mad scientists! These mad scientists conducted unspeakable experiments, pushing the boundaries of science to their extremes. None was so extreme as crazy Dr. Leghorn. Crazy Dr. Leghorn endeavored to produce an army that could penetrate the rural landscape undetected and, upon his orders, TAKE OVER THE WORLD! What creature would be so stealthy, yet so lethal? ... none, but the mighty mutant chicken! Crazy Dr. Leghorn toiled day and night, working on his line of mutant chickens, but then things went horribly wrong ... Crazy Dr. Leghorn lost control of the mutant chickens, they escaped their pens one night and waited, waited for Crazy Dr. Leghorn to arrive again in the morning to continue his evil plans. When Crazy Dr. Leghorn did arrive in his mad scientist lab the next morning, the mutant chickens ambushed him and killed him dead. It took the full force of the local police department to subdue the mutant chickens, only finally succeeding in killing them by chopping them into bits and scattering their limbs far across the city. The grad students were called upon to help in this effort, each being willed to take 5kg of mutant chicken to their respective homes and destroy it. Fearing for her life, one grad student arrived to pick up her 5kg allotment. Wrapped in many layers of tamper-proof plastic, she rushed the mutant chicken to her car and raced to the safety of her home.

Upon arriving home, she enlisted the forces of her two faithful guard beasts to stand guard as she prepared to dispose of the mutant chicken.

Her faithful guard beasts patrolled the kitchen as she quickly separated all the chicken pieces, mostly legs and a couple of wings, into small portions, shoved them all into a protective plastic vessel, and immediately rendered them immobile by flash freezing them in her (convenient) industrial freezer.

For now ... the mutant chickens are no longer a threat ... But what will happen when they thaw out?!


Spooky Tale #2: Festival of the Elderly

A brave and noble young knight by the name of Sir Gio was called urgently to a local retirement home in the afternoon of All Hallow's Eve. Something wicked had possessed the residents, and only he and his fluffy good looks could save their souls.

Donned in his protective red Therapy Dog cape, Sir Gio steeled himself for the potential assault as he approached the front door of the home. As he entered the building, it appeared deserted, but he could hear eerie music issuing from deep within. An upbeat tune, not unlike a Halloween waltz performed on accordians, was piping through the hallways. Sir Gio stealthily crept along the hall, following the eerie music. Rounding a corner into the common room, a ghastly sight met his eyes! Dozens and dozens of elderly people were gathered, some cloaked in witches robes, others with pointy hats and garrish wigs, still others wearing what appeared to be human bone necklaces around their necks. All were gathered in a large circle, some sitting in wheelchairs, some leaning on walkers, all of them clapping and singing as still more twirled in the center of the circle in some evil demon dance!

Stunned, Sir Gio had to think quickly how he could possibly penetrate this crowd. As brilliant as he is, Sir Gio thought up a devious plan. He would disguise himself as one of them, join their ranks and destroy them from within! Sneaking back out into the hallway, Sir Gio wrapped an orange and black bandanna around his neck and hoped that he would blend in to the dancing crowd. Assuming a casual face, he wandered confidently back into the crowded music room, pushing his way into the center of a large group of people, grinning around evil-y. Then, Sir Gio unleashed his secret weapon ... With all the charm of a used car salesman, Sir Gio donned the puppy eyes and wowed the crowds with his cute puppy tricks. Again and again he preformed his tricks until he was panting with exhaustion. Finally, when he thought he could not go on anymore ... the evil spell possessing the residents of the retirement home broke! Their grins were no longer evil, the demonic accordian waltz slowed to a calm and easy tune. The day, and their souls, were saved!

Spooky Tale #3: THE VET!!!

EEEEEEK! It doesn't get any scarier than that! I realize there may be young pups reading this, so as not to terrify them (and bring about lawsuits from outraged dog parents) I will leave out the horrific and gorey details.

I will mention only that both Gio and Romeo visited their new vet this afternoon (before Sir Gio's heroic actions at the retirement home). Romeo needed a vet signed health form so that I can submit his final papers to become a St. John Ambulance therapy dog. Gio was due for some bloodwork. It has been about 6 weeks since he has been on his new thyroid medication for his seizures, and he was due for some blood level tests for Potassium Bromide and the Thyroxine.

Because vet offices are SO SCARY we practiced some tricks for treats in the waiting room and in the exam room before and after the vet poked and prodded everyone.

They survived ... Though according to Gio, it was "barely".

Romeo: "Don't know why you are so nervous, Gio. You are such a wuss!"
Gio: "Shut up, fluffy. You don't have to get the needle jab!"

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